Today is National Bereaved Parents Day, a time to recognise and raise awareness about grief.
At Helen & Douglas House, we understand the pain of losing a child. Our dedicated bereavement team is here to support families following the death of their child. We are able to offer bereavement support groups, in-memory events, remembrance and celebration days and provide useful resources to help families through their difficult time.
A families story: remembering Jessica
We spoke to Vicky, whose daughter Jessica died in January 2022. Jessica was diagnosed with a life-shortening neurological condition, Leigh’s Disease, when she was just five months old. Her first visit to Helen & Douglas House came after she was suddenly taken ill and discharged from Stoke Mandeville Hospital.
From that first visit, Jessica and her family became part of the Helen & Douglas House community. The hospice offered respite care, giving Vicky and her partner Keith time to rest, knowing Jessica was receiving the expert care she needed. Three years on, Vicky reflects on her experience of grief and how she honours and remembers Jessica
What is one memory of Jessica that brings you comfort or makes you smile?
“Jessica was non-verbal, but by no means uncommunicative! Jessica spoke with her eyes, and I will always remember the way she used to look at the people she loved. I get comfort from knowing that she felt loved and was able to share her love with others in return.”
Is there something you do now to remember and honour Jessica?
“I find it hard to pick one thing that we do to remember Jessica, as nothing seems to be enough to capture what Jessica meant to us. What I do instead is try to emulate her strengths in what I do and who I am. To be strong and determined, calm and considered. To honour Jessica is to continue living her values as much as I can.”
What message would you like to share with other bereaved parents on National Bereaved Parents Day?
“As a parent, like many others who have lost so much, every day is Bereaved Parents Day. There can be so many complex emotions that ebb and flow through us on a daily basis. It can feel overwhelming to just get through daily routine tasks, as we try to make sense of what has happened, who we are now and where we are heading. A way of thinking, that I have found comforting, is to think of our family life like a book, that has a series of chapters. Our chapter with Jessica was truly beautiful in so many ways, and like any good story, the great highs often came with deep lows. I know that Jessica would want us to build on her chapter and use it to continue writing our story and that everyone who loves her are still characters in our story. We owe it to our beautiful, brave and determined little girl to continue writing our book, and to make it a best seller!”
We would like to thank Vicky for sharing her story. We hope that this may help provide some comfort for those experiencing the loss of a child. We understand that today and every day is difficult, but at Helen & Douglas House, we’re here to help support you through this challenging time.