Supporting bereaved families
At Helen & Douglas House, we care for the entire family, from diagnosis to symptom control and pain management, through to the time when the child dies, or transitions to adult services. Due to an increase in the prevalence of life-limiting conditions we are seeing increased demand for all of our services. For Helen & Douglas House, this increase in support during their life often means there is more demand for our bereavement support when a child dies to help their family cope with their loss.
This year, ten local families supported by us were the opportunity to create bespoke songs through The Keepsake Circle project in memory of their child who died. This culminated in the performance of these songs to these families in May and the launch of an album of these beautiful songs this summer.
A unique approach to bereavement support
We support bereaved families with their grief and are proud to be able to offer them a choice of where, and how, they access our bereavement services. Providing a variety of options makes our services more inclusive and enables us to reach out to people who do not, for whatever reason, want to engage with the traditionally offered services.
To expand our offering, we are proud to have been working in partnership with The Keepsake Circle over the past year. Internationally acclaimed songstress, Kiki Deville, and award-winning songwriter Angus Powell from The Keepsake Circle are the pair behind the project. They have been working with ten of the families we support to tell the stories and memories of their bereaved child through uniquely produced original songs. These songs will be a lasting tribute to the joy the child brought to their family’s lives. Memories have been reignited in a positive and uplifting way and the families are supported throughout the process of creating the song, by our Family Support and Bereavement (FSBV) team and were played live in front of the families at a special concert. Watch the memories from the family concert here:
The Keepsake Circle: How it was composed
We discovered The Keepsake Circle project after seeing them perform at the Together for Short Lives conference. It was clear the benefit these songs could bring to bereaved families. So, in early 2023, we started working with them – we offered ten bereaved parents a unique opportunity to remember their child through the creation of an original song, made up into one album for the group of families to cherish forever.
Helen & Douglas House is only the second children’s hospice in the UK to provide this opportunity to bereaved families, but our team worked closely with Derian House (the first provider) to learn from their experiences of making their albums. Kiki’s son, who died 18 years ago, was cared for by Derian House in Lancashire. Kiki is a singer, who has appeared on The Voice and was on Will.I.Am’s team. During Lockdown, she met Angus and together they piloted a project with Derian House, for an album for bereaved parents. They continue to offer this service.
Vicky and Keith, whose daughter Jessica, who was cared for by Helen & Douglas House during her short life, and died in 2022 said this about the process of making their song:
‘Working with Kiki and Angus has been beautiful. It was quite hard to begin, trying to capture everything about Jessica when we met with them, but it’s incredible to see how that has turned into this incredible song. James, Jessica’s brother, got to play the Chimes at the start of the song, and that makes it feel like a real family song. This song is another step along our journey to remember her.
We’re looking forward to listening to it over and again – to sit back, close our eyes and think deeply to remember her and what she meant to us – as her mum, as her dad, as her brother and as a grandparent’.
The therapeutic song-making process
We offered the opportunity to work with The Keepsake Circle to ten families, who would collectively be making an album in memory of their bereaved children. Each family first met with Kiki and Gus in the summer of 2023 at Helen & Douglas House. Kiki, who is based in North Yorkshire, and Angus, based in Wales, travelled to Oxford to meet with each family and were joined by a member of our bereavement team for support. In person, they had the chance to talk about their child who had died and about their memories together.
Over the months that followed, The Keepsake Circle regularly communicated with each family whilst their unique song was created. A year later, families, close friends, and staff gathered at Kingston Bagpuize House for a special afternoon tea and concert of their songs, sung live by Kiki and Angus.
It was an emotional day, but the sun was shining, and the atmosphere was warm. Whilst the families had been sent their songs to listen to before the concert, this was the first time they heard the music in a live setting. The private concert was the culmination of a year of hard work and was put together with the help of The Keepsake Circle and the Helen & Douglas House community and family support services. We also had support from our fundraising, and marketing teams and couldn’t have hosted the event without the incredible support of our donors and Notcutts Garden Centre.
The Keepsake Circle album was put together, with credits to the:
- Songwriters: Angus Powell, Kiki Deville
- Producers: Angus Powell, Gregor Gergö Petri
- Vocalists: Angus Powell, Kiki Deville , Anjlee Desai (Avas Song) Emma Barker(Jasmines Song)
Kiki said ‘It was so lovely to be welcomed to Helen & Douglas. We were made to feel like family. The team has been wonderful, supportive, professional, and incredibly organised.’
Angus told us, It’s been such a heartwarming experience—the team and the families have been absolutely amazing. We feel incredibly proud to do what we do, to meet these wonderfully inspiring people and hear all about their children.’
Debbie Kelly, Head of Community and Family Support Services at Helen & Douglas House , ‘The families got to get together at a very special family concert, and hear their bespoke song performed especially for them. They got to be “spoilt” with afternoon tea and to enjoy other parents’ company.’
What families thought of the process
The families involved in The Keepsake Circle album project are all bereaved, and the time of taking part, their bereavement journey ranged from one year to five plus years. Half of the families involved had not had any other bereavement support from the hospice, and to those who had had support, only one third of them were still receiving support. This demonstrates the vital need for this type of support and families.
Vicky and Keith Newell took part in The Keepsake Circle. Their daughter Jessica and their family were cared for by Helen & Douglas House during her short life,and died in 2022 aged 8 years old.
Vicky said this about the process of making their song called ‘The Power’.
‘Working with Kiki and Angus has been beautiful. It was quite hard to begin with, with a feeling that we had to try and capture Jessica in the one meeting we had together. I left wondering if I had said everything I had wanted to say about her. But it’s incredible to see how that goes from that to her song.
What was really special for us also was the fact that James (Jessica’s brother) got to play the chimes on the song. Jessica used to play the chimes during music therapy, and James got to play the chimes, which have been recorded at the beginning of the song.
It feels like a real family song that, you know, that we can encapsulate the love for both of our children in one place. The song for Jessica is called ‘The Power’, and I think that that’s what she brought to our family, to us. And I’m just so proud of her, and I think that she helps me get through every day. I feel that this song is another step along that journey to remember her. She can be in our lives forever and we can have this song to play special moments when we want to remember her.’
Listen and download the songs
The Keepsake Circle album is available on the links below, or search for the Keepsake Circle: Helen & Douglas – Part 1.
‘I hope to be able to remember the good times and not just the sad times of her life.’ Helen & Douglas House parent about The Keepsake Circle.
‘Working with the Keepsake Circle gives another choice in our bereavement toolkit so that we can reach out to more families and better support those who might otherwise not use our services.’
The Helen & Douglas House The Keepsake Circle album is available for all to listen to. You can listen and download the songs online, they might resonate with you, or just be a song that demonstrates the work we do. Sales from the songs will come to Helen & Douglas House.
Whats next?
As part of our strategy, we focused on the need to extend our clinical care to enable us to support more families with enhanced services. Our work with the Keepsake Circle is a key part of this.
In 2023 we funded The Keepsake Circle project from donations, but as we embark on Part 2 of The Keepsake Circle project in starting in early 2025, with a view to releasing it in 2026, we will be working with a donor to fund this service.
Debbie Kelly said ‘Parents involved with The Keepsake Circle album valued telling their child’s story from beginning to end, which is a rare opportunity. Speaking with Kiki, who makes no secret of the fact she too is bereaved.’
How we support bereaved parents
Bereavement support is available to any family, bereaved of a child, within our catchment area. It can be provided through individual support, as a couple and via support groups. If the level of mental health support required is more than we can offer, we will work with you and your GP to refer you to appropriate services. Visit our bereavement support page for more information.
Related links
- The Keepsake Circle – www.thekeepsakecircle.com
- Derian House – www.derianhouse.co.uk
- Kingston Bagpuize – kbhevents.uk